Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
