I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
