i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
