He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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