My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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