I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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