I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
