So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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