My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
