That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
