My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
