after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
