You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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