Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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