She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize