i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
