Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
