just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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