You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
