you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
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Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
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Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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