im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
