My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
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Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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