At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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