I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
