On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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