break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
