dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
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just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
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I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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