i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
