he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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