You were right. It hurts to walk today.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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