Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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