If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
