I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
