I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
