guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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