I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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