Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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