And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
