Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
