If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
