I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Your cock deserves a montage
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
