This girl is more easily done than said...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I forgot wine drunk hurts
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
