Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
