Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it