If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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