How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Who put my cat in the fridge?