Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  with your own penis?

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  (248): with your own penis? http://tfl.nu/apjm
  Replies (7) Good night (3137) Bad night (1038)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.

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  (902): Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/sk8g
  Replies (33) Good night (546) Bad night (2826)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

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  (614): Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy? http://tfl.nu/swws
  Replies (17) Good night (5416) Bad night (793)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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  (319): By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection" http://tfl.nu/gcjm
  Replies (14) Good night (5358) Bad night (1192)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests

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  (973): Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests http://tfl.nu/b1y9
  Replies (10) Good night (3956) Bad night (1003)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

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  (918): he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/so4p
  Replies (5) Good night (1298) Bad night (2730)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.

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  (509): i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/8fl0
  Replies (7) Good night (1871) Bad night (799)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.

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  (207): I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside. http://tfl.nu/y846
  Replies (6) Good night (698) Bad night (1459)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...

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  (503): I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot... http://tfl.nu/6eyj
  Replies (14) Good night (653) Bad night (1472)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.

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  (540): Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day. http://tfl.nu/y889
  Replies (7) Good night (859) Bad night (1754)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Did you drink ALL that 151??

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.

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  (843): Did you drink ALL that 151?? (1-843): No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable. http://tfl.nu/g9w3
  Replies (4) Good night (938) Bad night (331)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Touche.

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  (706): To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid. (1-706): You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man. (706): Touche. http://tfl.nu/xj0m
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (468)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night

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  (303): I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night http://tfl.nu/koj1
  Replies (5) Good night (489) Bad night (335)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high

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  (519): can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high http://tfl.nu/opzj
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (341)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.

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  (773): you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter. http://tfl.nu/7j29
  Replies (0) Good night (673) Bad night (231)

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