I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
