i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
