Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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