Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
do herpes really smell.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
