He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
