As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
