I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
