Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Drunk is not a location!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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