she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
