his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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