are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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