I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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