You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
