I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He passed out mid-signature
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
