U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
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i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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