ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
