I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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