You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
