I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
