Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
