He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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